Is this thing on??? September 10, 2013

Well, once again, I'm way behind. Life has been running pretty fast, some days I'm not really sure what day it really is. I find myself almost in a panic on Saturday mornings when I've slept a little later than usual and am awaken (as I prefer) by the sun rising through the trees.  But I'm hoping, if all goes as planned, that things will change for the better after my next endo appointment at the end of the month.  I'm hoping for a medication change that, again I hope, will provide more energy and an over all improvement in how I feel.

But on with the rest of the show...

Speaking of show, well, Jeff's band is really coming along.  And I'm not sure how it happened, but in a moment of weakness I found myself saying to the lead singer as she was saying she wished there were other voices on the track that they'd just recorded, "Send me some lyrics and I'll see what I can do to help out."  What was I thinking? It's been 25 years since I sang in a group, been 3 years since surgery, and I KNOW I don't have my full vocal range back nor even a forth of my vocal control.  But I did it, and now, I too am a part of the band.

It's only been about a month, and boy do my cords feel it.  By the end of our weekly practice my throat is so swollen and tender. I have to ban myself from ANY singing for a least 2 days during the week. I gave in once last week on a no singing day, but it was Patsy Cline, how could I not???  LOL  I may actually see if I can find a vocal coach who has worked with post surgical clients.  I wasn't all that before, but I was better than I am.  I'd like to try and at least get back to close to what I had before.  I know many never fully regain their singing voice, some never regain any at all.  I am very happy and thankful for what I do have.  Especially since I NEVER figured I'd ever be where I am today.

Work is stressful. We have moved twice since April. The first moved, while it sucked having to move, I LOVED my tiny cube with a full wall of windows.  I am a sun baby after all.  To have gone from a dark, dank cube to light, I felt SO much better.  I was happier, physically felt better, everything was sunshine and roses.  I should have known it wouldn't last. Moved again at the end of August, newer cube, HATE it, too much harsh lighting, even with 2 of the 3 bulbs out of the over head light, no windows, no natural light, just dull, dark, dank cube walls.  I can honestly say, it is the LAST place I want to be, and I find it extremely hard to go to work.  Today, it was all I could do to not just sit there and cry the whole day and a few times I fought those tears really hard.  I have the brain cloud, is there a volcano somewhere that needs a sacrifice???  LOL Joe vs. the Volcano incase you didn't get that one. :-)

So I've been thinking for about 6 months of doing a thyroid cancer photo project. With September being thyroid cancer awareness month, and a fellow cancer survivor sharing her story of how through her cancer the scar that she has on her neck that once stood for something else painful in her life is now a survival scar that she can be proud of.  I really feel strongly about this project, once because, everyone's scar and story is different, and I know that, at least for me, knowing what I could look like afterwards was a big help going into surgery.  My grandmother and my dad had both had theirs removed. Yet, my scar is completely different from theirs, worlds different.  Anyway, I'm still working it out in my head, but I think I might start the project next week, put it out there to the world and see where it goes.

So I have my next endo appt on September 30. I'll let you know how it goes.

So until then, y'all rock on!

Dawn

March 29, 2013 - Happy #3!

Happy Three Year Anniversary!!!

Early in the morning three years ago, I walked into Brackenridge Hospital with what probably looked like my own security force. Jeff and Justin are a force to be reckoned with. I like to think that I was calm and  cool, or at least was faking it well. I knew the day was going to bring what it was and there was not much I could do to change the new path that was set in front of me. I woke to a sunbean and the thumping whirl of a StarFlight helicopter, two of my favorite things. :-) It hasn't always been easy, there have been tears, and loneliness from isolation, I blew up like a huge balloon while waiting for radioactive treatment and starting and balancing meds. I have found that even in our 40's, we can still act like four year olds when we are totally exhausted and in dire need of an afternoon nap. Jeff is very good at handling that whining, crying, huffing, stomping four year old. Even when I try to hide that I'm not feeling well or experiencing some side effects Jeff always knows.

Thank you to Jeff for always knowing when to force me to get my banky and teddy bear. To friends always being there to make me laugh and telling me I look awesome even when I was blown up like a balloon and to family for always being there with love and support. The road may not always be an easy one, but with all the awesome people I have in my life, even though the introverted me may have trouble expressing it sometimes, I know I don't travel it alone and there will always be someone there to make me smile. ♥ Here's to many more years cancer free! 

Now... in other news...

My brother got married March 16. It was beautiful. I did all the decorations for the rehearsal dinner. Thought it would be cool to do simple wheatgrass arrangements. Let me tell you, when you have a deadline watching wheatgrass grow can be a VERY stressful thing.  LOL! But in the end they all turned out beautifully!  It seemed like I had ordered my dress forever ago, I got it a size smaller than they suggested and while it was a bit tight when it came in, it fit awesomely the day of the wedding.  Right now this is the only picture I have of it, I'll have to find another or have Jeff take some because you can't really see the dress well in it. But it does show my fat hashi neck well.  LOL!!!

Jeff's new band project is going well.  It's almost 100 miles from our door to the studio door so on practice days it's an all day event. But it's worth it. I get to experience some of the most amazing music ever produced and in many cases, other than the band I'm the only person who gets to experience the amazing creations that flow from them.  And for that I am extremely lucky! Jeff and I are pretty much inseparable. If you get one you get the other, and if the other isn't right there, it's usually lurking in the background some where.  LOL! There are a few times that we will go places on our own but it's rare. We're weird that way. LOL  To the band I never want to be considered a Yoko, I'm more of a Linda. 

Since my last appointment went so well, I don't have to go back to the endo until September. Which, going from every 3 months to 6 months is AWESOME!!!

So for now, we continue on. Even though things aren't always perfect I know my thyroid cancer path has been much easier than many. For that I am very grateful. It's not always easy, but as long as we remember to keep calm and sparkle it will all be okay.

Rock on!

Dawn

PS, In case you didn't know, I am a professed glitter addict. Some days, all it takes is a little sparkle to make it all okay.

March 22, 2013 - First Endo Appt and Ultrasound of the year!

Been so busy I had to reschedule my normal January appointment to March, so I'm running a little bit behind this year. But....

So had good news on the cancer front! Ultrasound was good, the one node of interest was still unchanged from the last 3 ultrasounds and its last biopsy came back clean so as long as it stays as it is it's nothing to worry about. So, since that all came out well AND the thyroid-goblins are still in hiding I get to go another year without taking those beautiful blue radioactive pills and doing a radioactive iodine scan. Whoohoo!!!

My labs were so good I get to cut one of my other medication doses in half or if the situation is right, skip it altogether. Yea! That's one more step to getting down to only one medication, my thyroid in a bottle Synthroid, balancing my body back from cancer and a lifetime of undiagnosed Hashimoto's Disease. All in all, life is pretty damn good.

Because ALL my lab work was so good I don't have to go back until September, which is AWESOME!!!

Writing this post was kind of hard, I have a life long friend  who was getting his biopsy results the same and and unfortunately didn't get similar good news. I've been on that bad news side and it sucks royally. But if the universe allows that could change for him at least I greatly hope so. ♥

Continued huge thank you to all the friends and family who are my rocks and my rolls!

Love you guys!!!

2013 - Welcome! - Moving into year 3

So far 2013 is looking pretty good. 

The second half of 2012 was kind of wild, extremely busy at work, the majority of our management team jumped ship all at the same time. Several of us stepped up to help pick up the slack, there were some days I wanted to blog but was just too exhausted to do so. But I thought about you guys!

Because of this "management opening" I applied for a new job, didn't get it because the two they gave it to had been HERE longer than the other two of us, but yet, we both had more experience in Medicaid as a whole, and the two of them have as many years with the state together as I do on my own but that is that. Their beds have been made and what is is. I will continue on rockin' it with my awesome self.

All in all, things are going well.  My TSH levels have remained steady through out the year. I am still on 224mg of Synthroid.  I have an ultrasound and an endo appt scheduled for January 30.  So I'll let you know how that goes.

Considering doing Ladies Rock Camp again this year. It's funny, a year ago I longed for a bass of my own. Today, I have three.  My two Lunas posted about previously, and Jeff gave me one of his basses, a Jaguar Jazz bass, in red. I had been looking to get the exact same bass in silver to be my "goofy" bass I was gonna put Hello Kitty on it and such, but since he'd bought a fretless, and had been playing it along with his Getty Lee Fender Jazz he didn't really need it so passed it on to me. Yea!  I'm seriously considering doing it again, but which bass to use. Boy, I'm a Libra, this could take a while.  LOL!!!

Other than that life is good. Sorta started back on South Beach again, kind of more of a "soft" start.  Not being OVERLY strict at this point but starting to cut stuff out. Details on that can be found over on the Beach Bum blog. 

That's it for now. Hope all is well with you and that you had an awesome holiday season and a happy new year! 

Rock on!!!

Dawn

2012 London Olympics

OMG OMG OMG OMG the Olympics start in 9 hours 34 minutes and 27 seconds...26...25...24...23...22...21...you get the picture!  LOL

So excited I LOVE the Olympics!

GO TEAM USA!!!

July 2012 Endo Appt

Had an appointment with the endos office Monday.  Things are still rockin' along awesomely.  No thyroidgoblins to be found and TSH still holding at 0.3. My weight is 11 pounds down from my surgery weight. And while that might not seem like a big deal to me it is. Having no thyroid adds a new battle on the weightloss front, I only gained 10 pounds after my surgery before doing my treatment and starting my Synthroid and reaching a stable TSH level. To have lost that 10, plus an additional 10 is a good thing. Oh sure, I could go on a "diet" and loose a lot more even faster, but while rapid loss is great for the "I want to see it all now!" ones, I want to make changes that are permanent healthy changes for myself and my family. I'm not perfect, I know that, hello life long fat kid, and I'm not always going to make the best choices, sometimes life just needs chocolate ice cream. A scoop or two is one thing, half a gallon is another.

For the most part I've been feeling okay.  My back has been a little buggie, the SI joint or piriformis is acting up. All I know is at times, it's a pain in the buttocks! I have stretches and such from my chiro that help, and spending time on the SI wedge that I bought help a lot. I need to be better about my stretches. There is a little summer cold/bug going around, not to mention with all the rain we've had lately that the mold count has exploded, in the 16,000's the other day.  Jeff had the cold/bug last week and I started with it over the weekend.  I think it's starting to move out because as I've been writing this both my ears have popped and stuff seems to be clearing out.

Life on the home front is good, busy, but good.  I got one of the two kitchen garden boxes that my late husband built me back into working order, planted way too many tomatoes in it, with some herbs and a pepper plant. Between the deer eating the plants, the normal Texas heat, and the mother loving, stupid squirrels STEALING my heirloom tomatoes...muttermutter...it's been great having fresh tomatoes and herbs, for what I've been able to get.

My brother is getting married to his long time girlfriend.  Yea! Wedding is set for March 16, 2013. I"m a bridesmaid and I even like the dress.  Already have it ordered too.  Jeff is a groomsman. This I can't wait for, I've never seen him in a suit. We've been together for 5 years next month and I've never seen the man in a suit, let alone a tux. It could get dangerous.  LOL!!!  I'll be taking the pink out of my hair for the wedding. I decided it on my own, no one has said anything or asked me about it, it's out of respect for my brother and Tiffany.  Plus, I really need to have the sections redone professionally so I'll get that done after the wedding.

Jeff is working on a new music project.  I think it's going to be good for him, will defiantly push him to grow. I'm not really sure how you'd classify it, physco-surfer-rockabilly? I think it's going to be fun. Band practice makes for a long day, from the house to the studio it's 100 miles one way. The toll roads make it nice as there isn't much, if any, traffic on them. We don't mind the travel and I will do whatever we need to for the band. With the Humiliators he was always having to travel to South Austin and that's like 50-60 miles from the house.  We just rock on!

My new bass came in. I've named her Ruby, in honor of my granny, plus she's a beautiful red. She is as awesome and perfect as Lucky (my other bass) is. I know some may think that it is silly to have two basses, identical in every way except for their color.  All the guys said it was good to have a back up, and we learned that first hand one night when Jeff broke an E string on stage. We'd brought the 5-string bass but hadn't taken it in, luckily we'd parked right in front of the bar. I had to run out and grab the other bass.  Many things I learned that night, always take a back up, take your heels off before trying to run through a bar with a sloped floor(especially if you are wearing blinking heels, and yes I was), and never miss the bands opening number. I had gone to the bar across the street with two of the other band wives, being the newbie I was trying to be social, we could hear the sound check, but there was no lighten a fire under them and they were in no hurry, I learned when it's time to go, it's time to go, close out and go (if running a tab). If I have any control I will never miss an opening note again.

And to make things even sillier, I'm already considering a third bass.  LOL I know, I know! I love my Lunas. But I want a Fender too, so I've been considering a silver Fender. It's for...range of motion and fretting dexterity. (oh that sounded good LOL) I fear I have contracted GAS (Gear Acquisition Syndrome) from my husband.  LOL  I think it's time to seriously consider building a music/photography studio.  LOL!!!

Jeff's brother came to visit for a few days at the end of June.  They are both HAMs and Justin came down to do Field Day with Jeff. I think they had a good time.

And on a sad note, we had to put our 15 year old lab to sleep. Licorice Whips was the last of the three pups that we kept from the litter our yellow lab had just 15 days after we moved to our property. We had only planned on keeping 1 pup from that litter, but ended up keeping three.  It was an extremely hard decision to make and to live with for a few weeks. I found myself being mad at my late husband. Mad at him for leaving me to have to make this decision. It wasn't like he had a choice in leaving, lung cancer didn't give him much choice, and it only took me seven years to get mad at him for it finally.  It's a normal widow experience they say we will all have at some point, I guess some sooner than others.  I wasn't alone in the decision, Jeff, and our vet, who delivered that litter by C-section that cold, wet, November night, were all there along with me. It's been just over a month and I still find myself going to the door to get her, or if I hear clicking or scraping on the floor going to help her stand up.  I know with time I will learn to live without her.

Okay, now that I've brought everyone down... time for goofy man-ness

"Tell me which is better? 1 or 2? How about 3 or 4?"  LOL!!!

Rock on!

Two Year Endo Appt & Ultrasound

Had my two year endo appointment and ultrasound.

The ultrasound came out good.  That same lymph node was still visible, but it had shrunk some, so since we biopsied it last year and it is remaining basically unchanged then it's just a lymph node doing what lymphs do.  

All my thyroid lab worked looked good, all right where it should be.  I asked about whether or not I have to do another yearly scan and he confirmed that not this year.  He said that they are starting to move away from doing yearly radioactive iodine scan in patients who have had clean scans.  Most likely will do one next year, but we will see when the time comes.  

So for now, just keep on keepin' on! 

I'm currently taking 112mcg Synthroid, 2 tabs in the morning.   This dosage is holding my TSH levels steadily at 0.3.

And life on the Rock front?  We spent some time with Leon out at the Leapin' Lizards Studio.  Keeping my fingers crossed that a new project will come Jeff's way.  After SXSW we've not really been out a lot, but we have been to a few shows.  The long await Skrew show at Hardtails in Georgetown ended just as I expected it.  I was born and raised in Georgetown, Hardtails is basically in my great aunt and uncles back yard.  I kid you know, where her kennels were is their side parking lot.  Half way (if even that far) through Skrew set the stage went dark and silent. Skrew is an industrial metal band, silent is not in their vocabulary.  The industrial metal crowd is not Hardtails normal clientele. We've been there a few times, and I have plenty of friends who are regulars there.  Some of the looks we got when we walked in you would have thought we were chewing on newborn babies or something.  The sound guy claimed he was told by management that it had to be shut down at a certain time.  If that's the case then the sound guy sucks as a time keeper, and allowed all the other bands to run over and take too long getting on and off the stage.  Shutting the headlining act down...not cool man.

I have a new bass coming.  Same brand and model as my current one but this one is in the merlot flame.  The style I had originally wanted. I found it for about a 1/3 or the original price so I couldn't pass it up.  The guys kept telling me I needed a back-up, so after watching it for 4 months, I got it.  Yea!  She should hopefully be here tomorrow.