Let the countdown begin

Sunday, the day before surgery I laid in bed and watched the sun rise. Reflecting on how today was going to be (in a way) the last day of life as I've known it. It brought back memories of a morning very much like it four plus years ago when I laid in the very same place watching a very similar sun rise reflecting on how my life was forever changed the morning after Rich had passed away.

It was not long before the trees outside the bedroom were filled with cardinals. I'm a libra, my bird is the cardinal. Cardinals represent change, a change in life or some kind of turning point, and they are birds of strength. I was happy to have cardinals surrounding me, but wondered what else would the day bring? Would I have ladybugs too? Would I feel Rich in the house? What?

Once the sun got to a blinding point above the trees I decided to get up and make breakfast. It didn't take long to find my next good luck sign. There was a ladybug in the kitchen. I went about my morning baking biscuits and making the rest of breakfast. Went about the rest of the day getting things in order, laundry, the chickens, this, that, and all the what-nots. I went into what Jeff calls my "conference mode."

At some point in the afternoon Jeff makes me take a break for a while. And there was sign number three. A very large, very bright yellow, tiger swallow tail butterfly. The ones Rich loved. Once the butterfly fluttered off it was time to get back to work.

Jeff's brother Justin came down and at some point in time I managed to get dinner fixed, and my bag packed. I really enjoyed chatting for a while with Debby and Doug when I went over to take her doggie sitting info. I was a little disappointed didn't get to bake a cake for Jeff, but when I finally got around to that point it was just too late. And even though it felt like it was much later, some how I managed to crawl into bed around 10:30 pm or so. Which was good because I had to be at the hospital by 6:30am, which meant we needed to leave the house no later than 5:30am so we'd need to get up around 4am...ugh.

The Latest Ultrasound

Tuesday night was SO needed after yet another stress full day.

The day started off kilter from the time the sun rose it seemed. Add to it an abdominal ultrasound. I've have liver functions come back a bit high the past few blood tests. So I go to the ultrasound. I'm actually feeling pretty well. The ultrasound well really quick, and not a lot of "click click click" from the tech. Unlike my thyroid ultrasounds. Afterwards head to the office and continue with a normal day. With in a few hours a call comes from my doctors office. The tech had said it would be at least 24 hours. A call so soon....OMG this can't be good. The results were in....OMGOMGOMG (just so you know, quick results have never been good for me) but...every thing was perfectly fine. A few fatty deposits on the liver (hello fat girl) but that was nothing unusual and nothing that can be done for them other than diet and exercise (ah the story of my life). When the nurse told me that I pretty much lost it. Sitting there in my cube bawling my eyes out. Happy, relieved, thankful. I was ready to accept the worst and relieved it was only good news. After a quick call to Jeff to let him know the results. It was back to helping pharmacies resolve their issues and anticipating seeing my man on stage.

A Night on Red River

My last night on Red River for a while.

Tuesday night (the 23rd) was my last night out for a while. It was about as perfect as it could be.

We spent the night on Red River. We started at Bull McCabes. There is nothing better than enjoying at proper pint of Guinness at an Irish pub pulled by a true Irishmen. You can't not love Gerry and Johnny.

We then moved one door down to Hoboken Pizza. Be proud like the pigeon! Love that pie!!!

After some pie we were on the move again...but again, only one door down to Headhunters. Our Red River home away from home. We paid our respects to the Tikis. We hung out with some friends, it was a great time.

The best part of the evening was when my sexy bass playing husband took the stage. Nothing makes me prouder than when my man is on stage doing his thing. It is something I have greatly missed over the past year while The Humiliators were rebuilding. After a great set, we headed home to some very hungry puppies...and bed.

The Pre-Op

The pre-op appt has been done. All the paper work and all is in, the lab results are in, we know where we have to go and when to be there. We have to be at Brackenridge at 6:30 AM on Monday, surgery should start around 8:30 if the doc is ready.

The Wedding

Andrea and Richie's wedding was beautiful, and so totally...them. It was so worth putting off surgery for, and I wouldn't have missed it for the world. We wish them a life time of joy and happiness.

OMG...Richie looks SO much like his dad!!! LOL!!! It was so great to spend time with so many friends that we have not been able to see in a while. I love you guys so very much!!!

It was in a way comforting to find out that one of the most beautiful women I've ever known has been in my shoes. So...when this is all done and over with...I'm going to grow several inches and be skinny, and as beautiful as she is! :) That's my story and I'm sticking to it!!!!

The Team

Let's meet the team shall we...

The Patient

That would be me. Happy go lucky, born and bred Texas rock girl. Married to the sexiest bass player in the world. Looking to get through this and back to her badgirl self!

The Loving Husband

That would be Jeff. My big hearted Texas boy. A girl could not ask for a more loving, devoted, wonderful man. Looking to get through this and get his badgirl back!

The Surgeon/ENT

Kevin Kriesel, MD. Awesome dude. He was my dad's surgeon and will be mine too. He did a bang up job on Dad and has taken excellent care of him for many other thing over the past five plus years, not just his thyroidectomy. He takes his time and makes sure all your questions are answered and your concerns addressed. He went to the Univerisity of Texas Southwestern Medical School. I know a lot of folks from there and it's a-okay by me!

The Endocrinologist

Thomas Blevins, MD. Again, awesome. He is who my Gyno suggested back in the 90's when I was having a major bleeding disorder that was partly...probably mostly hormonally challenged. But being young...and invincible as Jeff would say, once we fixed the problem...problem fix! But when Dad had his thyroid removed and he was needing an endo he is the first and only one I wanted for my daddy. He has taken excellent care of my dad and so far me too. Can't do much better when you've got the top dog.

Appt with ENT/Surgeon

I relented and scheduled my appt with the ENT surgeon for March 1 . We discussed everything. All my concerns, all of Jeff's concerns, the difference between my dad and me and our cases. That they would be on top of meds from the get go. That unlike my dad I'm going into this feeling fine, unlike Dad who was in a lot of pain, not to mention a few years older than me.

Because Jeff has a couple of gigs booked already for March (March 10 & 23) and Andrea and Richie's wedding is the 20th, and I absolutely refuse to miss it, surgery is schedule for March 29, 2010 at Brackenridge Hospital in Austin. My pre-op is on March 22. So for now we live our life and wait.

Ramblings

For as long as I can remember my mom has been hypo and then Dad had his removed. I've watched them and their progressions. I didn't want to be like them, of course they are 20 years older than me, but still! The nightmare that can follow a thyroidectomy scared me...still does. I researched every way possible to maybe get out of loosing my entire thyroid to no avail.

The Biopsy

So on January 26, I was set up for the biopsy. The week leading up to the biopsy was hell. My second husband was diagnosed with lung cancer in May of 2005. There were months of no answers, answers of "well it just looks weird in there" or no one can figure it out, it's changing so fast. I was finally able to get after a couple of months a simple nonsmall cell diagnosis. But the thought of dealing with cancer again, evening knowing the statistics for thyroid cancer, even having been through Dad's it still did not bring up good thought. I was a basket case. I'd cry at the drop of a hat, I'm sure I was moody as the day is long. Poor Jeff. He had to remind me several times that yes I've been here, I've done this cancer thing before, but he hasn't, he's a n00b I need to let him in on some of it...and to stay off of google. LOL

So biopsy day comes. Jeff goes with me. Just knowing he was there made it a bit calmer. The doc comes in, we talk about what's going to go down, we discuss the nodules. I express that my big concern is the little one that is heavily calcified (per google not a good thing). He agrees that probably need to take a sample of it even though it's size really does rule it out. So we get started. Let me tell you. I have had some procedures done in the office before. Had a lymph node lanced as a kid and that was fun. They can only really deaden the top layer, not really down where the thyroid is or the thyroid itself. So you can feel the needle moving. It's all ultrasound guided so he can see where he is going but still...it's weird. Not in a bad way though. Until he got to that little calcified bugger.

OMG, he had to work to get into it. Not only could I feel the pressure but it felt like he was having to grind away at it. Kind of like having to work your way through a layer of ice to get down to the water. And it hurt. Again, it's a necessary thing...suck it up and get through it. And because I'd agreed to do a research study I got double the number of samples. Yea me!

Afterwards I felt like a pin cushion. Went home, then we went out to dinner with Mom and Dad. The air seemed thick with the inevitable, but it was still a good time. The next morning I awoke with a fever. It wasn't high, I've had enough 104+ fevers in the past couple of years that my ears let me know real quick if it's high. So we obviously had upset something. I felt horrid calling in sick to work, especially unplanned. I know that puts a heavier call load on the others.

Later that might my phone rings, it's the endo. He'd gotten a call from the pathologist and the nodule on the left was suspect for papillary cancer. His recommendation is a thyroidectomy and remove the whole thing. The ENT surgeon he recommended was the one I already had. So we guess this is considered genetic now. Thanks Dad!

The Endo

So on January 5, I went to see the endo. He diagnosed me with Hashimoto's syndrome/disease. I think he said a "classic case." I'll buy that considering my round beach ball face. Based on the ultrasound the nodules didn't feel as large as what they measured them to be and that I probably having a case of thyroiditis when the ultrasound was done. He didn't think that there was much to worry about but thought it a good idea to go ahead and do another ultrasound to see where things were now that the gland wasn't so inflamed. His best tech just happened to have an opening in about 20 minutes. Sweet...I'll wait.

I'll swear that the ultrasound gel smelled like cherries. She slide around on my neck for a few minutes and that was it. There was no heavy handedness, no long time laid back in a funky position. Just a few minutes and it was done. Wait a few days and I get a phone call. The nodules have changed, one is actually larger than it was before and where there was one before now seems to be two...lovely. So he felt a biopsy was a good idea. If for no other reason than to rule the possible out.

First appt with the ENT

I made my appt with the ENT for Aug 4. I actually had to really work to get that appt to fit in to my schedule. I was leaving one job, going on a working vacation out of state for a few weeks, and starting a new job within a few days of getting back home. So I managed to get my appt the day before starting my new job. He really did a lot to ease my worried that based on the ultrasound that most likely it was a goiter. BUT, because of my dad having thyroid cancer it would be best to have a biopsy done. So he referred me to the same endocrinology I sent my dad to. We like the family plan. LOL!

Because of the new job, and training for it, it took me a bit to get into the endo. Not to mention the whole "he's not taking new patients at this time ordeal." The dude is top dog in endocrinology in Austin...probably the state (I only send my dad to the best) so I don't mind it taking a bit to get into.

I kind of just let things stew for a few weeks. Had the whole holiday season to try and enjoy. Then one day I got a call from the endo office that they were calling to set an appt. Yea!

So where to start?

I guess we start at the beginning.

I have always been an overweight person. From the time my feet hit the ground I was the fat kid. One of my most earliest memories is being in the doctors office and him saying "She's a perfectly healthy child. Except her weight." And so began 40 years of "diets." Could that be part of what has lead me to where I am...maybe...maybe not.

My thyroid history really I guess in a way begins with my grandmother. Growing up Granny had a massive goiter. When they finally removed it around 1980 it had grown up behind her ears and down into her chest. It was so large they had to go down to labor & delivery to get forceps to "deliver" it.

Then there's my dad. He was diagnosed with thyroid cancer in January 2004. He had his thyroid removed and has had three rounds of radioactive iodine (I-131). He's been cancer free every since. He does have one spot that continues to light up on scans but it's been in the same spot since the beginning and hasn't moved or changed so they figure it's scare tissue.

So, back to me. In July of 2009 I had a weight jump. Over the past few years that hadn't been an unusual thing. I ended up getting really high fever (105 to be exact) and ended up at the doctor, he found nothing. A week later still nothing. Saw another one of my docs in June, he didn't pick up anything with my thyroid. In July I saw my new family pract doc and I mentioned that my weight had jumped up again...she felt that my thyroid felt a little enlarged. So she sent me for an ultrasound.

The ultrasound was not pleasant. The girl dug around on my neck for what seemed like forever. Now mind you, I was in the process of being for herniated disks in my lower back so laying in that odd position for so long really started to take it's toll, but I sucked it up and hung on cause it couldn't be much longer....oh yeah, she still had to do the other side...UGH. My throat hurt for at least two weeks. A couple of days later my doctors office call to say that there was a nodule and wanted to do a referral to an ENT (ear, nose, and throat for those who may not know). Thanks to my dad's cancer I knew exactly who I wanted, so I asked them to change the referral to him and also send me a copy of the report. When the report showed up, it had not one but five nodules noted. Five. I'm sorry, but that is a BIG difference from one. I'm sure she didn't want to freak me out but hey, I'm a strong girl. If I can survive losing a husband to lung cancer at 35, I can handle hearing I have 5 nodules on my thyroid.